The Little Engagement That Could: Revenge Recap
I have zero respect for Revenge's shameless decision to milk the Emanda-Daniel relationship for two separate engagement episodes. The only thing that made round 2 worthwhile was Daniel's hilarious attempt to get their wedding into the Huffpo announcements. Like hello, you have paparazzi following your family, aim for the New York Times, ever heard of it? Oh wait, you don't actually reside in New York City except when it's convenient plot-wise for Victoria to fuck an urban painter or when they need a penthouse balcony off which to push Lydia Davis.
Anyway, why does Victoria suddenly hate Emanda again like WHAT THE FUCK did I miss? Then again, my awareness of this show is clearly low since when they said Ms. Stoddard I thought they were talking about Courtney.
Even this bitch doesn't give a shit what's going on.
Orphans from across the country are writing in claiming to be Victoria's son? Jesus she's not that famous. Also her daughter has publicly called her a horrible mother who emotionally abuses her. Sign us up!
Speaking of Charlotte, is “Charlie” now her new lesbionic nickname?
They don't arrest you for being drunk when you're under 21. They only arrest you if you're trying to use a fake ID. Any girl who's been to college knows that. Fucking duh.
Ashley's betchiest moment: “Jack, I'm working!” …takes shot.
Takeda's frequent travel from Japan to the Hamptons is equally absurd as Daniel's office commute from the Hamptons to the city, as in…totally casual on Revenge despite never happening in real life.
Why is Takeda so pissed off, like go drink some green tea or monogram your sword or something.
Conspiracy, love, betrayal…do these people ever just talk about the weather or like who was voted off American Idol?
She's already been to Paris, multiple times.
Charlotte's pregnant…like mother like daughter.
“Your father was Trevor Mathis, THE BAGGAGE HANDLER!”
Good thing Vic gave up that baby for art school. She's such an amazing artist now.
Emanda: Paris was Daniel's idea, Victoria.
Vic: Oh Emily, Daniel is too dumb to have ideas.
Okay Falcon, no one just casually speaks in riddle except like, mother goose.
The Takeda vs. Aidan duel was stolen directly from Kill Bill, like Quentin Tarantino should sue.
Oh no the Grayson's are bankrupt. Help them they're poor!
Yay a blackout! Hurricane Sandy? The plague of darkness? Glow party?
What's black and white and red all over..Emanda's first engagement.